Thursday, April 14, 2016

Gender, bathrooms and answers to some feedback


I told you yesterday's blog, that I would answer some feedback.

I also said there would be some backlash from both "sides" of my friend list.

Seems I touched a few nerves, and that's ok, because before we can find out how to live a happy life, we first have to find out who we are and also how to deal with people who don't like us for who we are. Yes, dealing with the "hard stuff" is very relevant when you are a quest for your "happy place".

The first came from the more conservative side.

"How can you say there shouldn't be a law prohibiting a transgender from using the same bathroom as your little girls?"

To be fair this question was answered, but I'll try again.
1. There is NO way to enforce such a law. If a transgender person is "living as a woman" really and truly we might be able to suspect they are in there, but there is no real way to prove it unless we tackle them and check under their shorts, or grab for some junk. Both of which would leave us in a pickle because we have now broken the law.
2. I keep the best eye I can on my kids. As their parent, it is up to ME to keep them safe, not the government. And get this... if I say I believe that 100% as far as homeschooling or other parenting choices then I have to believe it in this situation too. It's up to me. Personal responsibility. I can not expect the government (or anyone else) to lay down laws enough to keep me and my children safe.
3. I do not agree with the transgender or gay lifestyles. This does not mean I can do a darn thing about them living their life as they choose. It isn't up to me to change them, or hate them, or beat them, or harass them. As long as they leave me and mine alone, I'm happy to do the same. And by "leave us alone" I don't mean they have to avoid us like the plague. I mean: don't expect me to listen to sex stories, or join in the lifestyle celebrations, don't force me to play along with wedding plans in any way, don't lay all over each other in the street, I don't want to see ass cheeks hanging out or see someone dressed in leathers and whips... much as I expect from the rest of society, I expect them to keep their private life private.

"I thought you were a Christian." 

I am a Christian. I am Catholic. I am a Christian.

From Merriam/Webster
Christian:  a person who believes in the teachings of Jesus Christ.

From the kids (Catholic) catechism books:
Christian: one who follows Christ.

I am not perfect, but I do believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ and I do try my best to follow him.

You may agree with me or not. I am a Christian.


"You are nothing but a bigot." 

Frankly, I love these easy ones.

Again from Merriam/Webster

Bigot: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices;especially :  one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

According to you, I am a bigot because I  believe the laws we put in place should protect the common good. I believe they should protect transgender, women, men, children, gay, purple people, Christians, sinners, babies (born and unborn) etc. BECAUSE they are all people.   I believe in keeping it simple. I.E. Don't beat on people, don't kill people, don't steal, don't lie.  YOU believe that one group deserves MORE protection than any other. I.E. Transgender people have the right to feel normal, comfortable even at the expense of others and a law needs to be in place to protect the transgender person's feelings despite others, while also (or maybe in spite of) giving possible protection to other groups of individuals - rapists, and pedophiles.
Go back to the definition of a bigot.
Who is the bigot?

I would also like to point out that the word "bigot" is much more of a hot button word than anything these days.
Scenario...
A gay couple goes into a bakery to get a wedding cake. The baker does not want to make the cake which celebrates the marriage of a gay couple because they believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. The gay couple then sues. The baker goes out of business.

Frankly, both are being bigots, if you go by the dictionary definition. However, I do not believe this is a HUGE deal because again we can keep it simple.
The baker has the right to make a cake or not make a cake. They loose money if they don't, but they get to stick by their own beliefs. The gay couple can get a cake made by someone else, no harm no foul. Why on earth would you even WANT the baker to make you a cake if they have the ideas they do about your marriage? IT'S a cake. The baker didn't call for a town meeting to make it impossible for you to go about your marriage. They didn't call you horrible names or beat you bloody in the shop. Go down the street, into another shop and have a cake made by someone who is happy to help you celebrate your marriage. See - easy. Because later you might decide to set up a shop where you only sell vegan food and a couple might come in who wants you to help them cater their wedding but they want a twist, they would like you to add just a little ham for the ONE person in their guest list who really likes ham. And you might just want to be able to tell them that you would rather not put ham on a platter made in your shop because meat offends you. See. If you do it my way it's simple. No one gets hurt. and people move on to the next shop or they deal with you not wanting to do things exactly as they wanted. And while both parties could still be considered a bit of a bigot, no one was hurt (aside from maybe a few feelings) in the process.

There was more feedback, but it all pretty much fell within those three statements. Considering my blog is not "huge" and my friends on facebook are not that diverse really (because people unfriend me if they disagree with me... go figure), it's not surprising that I didn't have a lot more feedback. However, I will say the feedback I did get was surprising in a couple of ways, but pretty much what I thought I'd get.

Lessons:
Keep It Simple. Common Sense. Personal Responsibility. Thicker Skin. Opportunity Cost. Stress Less


Share this post if you are tired of "feelings" trumping common sense. Let's start a different dialog.

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