Today my Facebook exploded with THIS story. In short Gabrielle Reece, volleyball star, announced that becoming a submissive wife saved her marriage. What came after was an onslaught of controversy. Of course.
My comment on Facebook was this:
Beautiful! People who think it is controversial for a wife to be submissive to her husband
A: does not understand the biblical principle of marriage,
B: is not going to do well in marriage,
C: needs to think and do research before arguing this with me and
D: (a repeat because it is just so very true for men and women both) they ARE NOT GOING TO DO WELL IN MARRIAGE!
I thought that was pretty clear, but apparently not.
I want to stress that a submissive wife is not a door mat. God has given us well defined roles as men and women. I am not saying that we can't "evolve" to some degree, I do not believe we have to stay barefoot and pregnant (to use a term I hate).
You see, it isn't just a submissive wife... husband and wife are supposed to submit to EACH OTHER. The husband is supposed to be the leader, but any good leader knows how to take suggestions from others. The husband is supposed to love his wife like Christ loved the church (people). Christ DIED for the church. That is a pretty big responsibility.
Being a submissive wife does not mean the husband is the BOSS. He MUST treat her "far more precious then treasure". He must respect her, cherish her, revere her. She is the mother of his children, the heart of the family, his help mate. Those things he must do, even when she is being crabby and cranky, and looking a wreck after a long night with a sick child.
I try to be a submissive wife...
But, when my husband and I are following God's commands on how we should behave, that is when our marriage is at it's best. Really though it has nothing to do with faith, or religion, or submissive vs. not... It has to do with how a husband and wife SHOULD be with each other, to support each other, to use our roles to make our life together work even through the stress. And when we are at odds with those "natural" roles, then we are at odds with each other and with our children. God has given us a blueprint to follow, and my husband and I believe that with everything we are, but I have seen people with no faith have very good marriages. Because they follow those natural laws in a marriage. Not because husband is boss and wife is a wimp (or doormat) ... but because they sacrifice for one another, the love unconditionally and they commit FULLY to one another and to their marriage.
I want my children to look at the marriage of their parents and know that we loved each other, AND that we loved them enough to fight to live our lives as God wants us to. And I want them to know that when things were not so good, it was because we went against Gods plans.
Ephesians Chapter 5
- 5 Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. 6
- Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.
- For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.
- As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
- Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her
- to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
- that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
- So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
- For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,
- because we are members of his body.
- "For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
- This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.
- In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.