Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Mad, Mad, and Madder

Yes, of course I know that title does not make a lot of sense. So let me explain. I had a situation come up and practically strangle me. So, yes, I got mad (as in angry). In my haste to get mad, I decided it was Gods fault (mad as in crazy). And then being the stubborn child of God that I am I got madder (angry mad + crazy mad = madder). I asked God for something I thought was pretty simple. Peace in the family for one week. If anyone could do it, He could. Right? Riiiiiight... Problem is, personal dynamics when you have an older sibling who does not live at home, come to visit, a second in line who is use to being the "oldest" and is a bit immature because he's short and mom (yup that's me) didn't really catch herself holding back some of the bigger responsibilities because of size instead of considering age. We have the Kidd who is on his own, in the Army, at West Point learning to lead his own life and trying to decide what it is he believes as opposed to what we have taught him to believe. Which is exactly what he should be doing, but it is so hard to watch some times. Then you add a bit of illness and not feeling good in there, and a mom and wife who can't seem to find the 'right' words.

There it is: Chaos! That is what I handed God and said fix it please because it's so easy. Just make me hold my tongue when I should, make everyone understand what I mean and not just what they hear. And on top of all that let there be peace on earth... ok not earth, but in my house. Easy right? Do you think I was being a bit unfair? I do. You see I asked for all of it, and then sat back. What could I have done to prevent the chaos that resulted, I'm not sure, but obviously it was not enough to simply pray for a solution. At any rate. I'm still mad (angry) that things didn't go my way, mad (crazy) because I just am, and madder as a result of the two previous, however I think maybe it's time I cut the big guy upstairs some slack. Maybe, I need to work harder at the "peace in the family" business myself... and leave more important things to Him.

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